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Can you top this?
As
Richard Wilson of One Foot in the Grave was often heard to say, 'I don't believe it!'
Sometimes we astound ourselves with our achievements and equally... our failures. It can be a
good thing to be able to sit back and crow about our successes or laugh if we mess up. After
all, no one is perfect all the time. Just because you haven't won out, gone clear or qualified
for a specific final doesn't mean you didn't have a good run, or you didn't accomplish
something. So we're taking nominations for some occasions that (you hope) will never go into
the Guinness Book of Records as well as those you will feast on at the pub for years.
Come on. Admit it. Send your monumental brags along with your boo-boos to
Agilitynet. And don't forget that experience is something you get just after you need it!
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Can YOU top this? |
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The Agony &
The Ecstasy Trophy
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- Scribing for the class that you are winning may be the best place to be but it's very
nerve wracking! That's how Janet Wood did it.
(17/09/02)
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Double Header Winning Out
Stakes
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- Alison and Tony Griffiths pulled off a remarkable double with Daisy, their Labrador,
at Wrexham's 2003 show. Alison ran Daisy in the morning, and won Starters Agility taking
Alison, Tony and Daisy out of Starters. In the afternoon, Tony then repeated the
performance, winning Starters Jumping with Daisy. Same dog, different handlers.
(17/09/02)
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- Can we nominate someone for The Highest Placed
First Time Competitor Rosette, namely Selena Short, and Speckles (aka 'go geddum') for
coming sixth place in their first two shows, Severnside and Honiton, both in Elementary
Jumping! She even wrote a poem about it.
(05/01/04)
- Would like to nominate Wendy Thorne
and Sandy (Winter Bracken) for highest placed first time competitor. It was Wendy and
Sandy's first show at Shrewsbury on 4 May and they came fourth in Midi agility. There
were 45 in the class. It was not an easy course with many eliminations, and they did
brilliantly in a very respectable time of just over 33 seconds!
Christine Moodie
(25/07/02)
- David Woodhead
and Holly (Iffit Duzzitt) place 26th place in Starters Agility at their first show - and
after only eight weeks of training! They started training at Tendering Agility Club in
February when Holly was 16 months old. Just for the competition experience, they entered
her at Downlands on the 7 April in Starters Agility and Helter Skelter. She was just 18
months old. All he hoped for was to get around! In Starters Agility she went clear and
was placed 26th out of 278 dogs! To make it more impressive, he'd only taught her the
weaves on the Friday before! Suzanne Morrison
(27/05/02)
- Jake Walsh's
Bearded Collie Billy (Bridus Billy the Kid) placed seventh at his very first show,
although under orders to treat this season as 'training!'
(08/06/02)
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Jasper
(Beckdale Jaspher) my English Springer Spaniel achieved 19th place in his first
competition at his first show which was at Downlands on 7 April. He was also
entered in the Special Helter Skelter and only got five faults. (He overshot the weave
entry.) I was completely stunned having been advised over and over - "only expect
eliminations in your first year", 'you have a Springer - his nose rules. Get a Border
Collie if you want to win something.' I didn't stop smiling for the rest of the week and
my phone bill has gone up! Where do we go from here? Would you believe it - 14th place
at Cornwall on 28 April and tenth place at Vyne on 6 May plus several eliminations and
some five faults - all for the same thing as Downlands, along the way. Beginners luck
maybe? Time will tell. Sue Taylor
(31/05/02)
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The Most Embarrassing Moment Badge

Illustration: Tina Fain-Evans
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- A few years ago I had a big, handsome white and gold collie called
Mikah, who used to get very 'excited' when he finished a course, much to my consternation
and any body else's in the vicinity of the finish line - ie: judge, the odd boy scout or
girl guide. If I didn't catch him quick enough, he would rush back into the ring and
mount any leg that happened to be in his path - and he had a very, very strong grip. If I
tried to drag him off, I'd usually end up taking the poor judge or helper with us! I
believe Alan Robinson and Barry Harvey were particular favourites. Away from agility it
tended to be little girls on roller skates! Obedience temp test were a particular
favourite just to see if I could be quick enough to grab him before he got judge or
scribe - mind he never failed the test!!!? Very embarrassing!! Liz Catt
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The Most Unlikely
Thing to Happen in the Ring While Judging
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- Some years ago - more than I care to remember, but forever engrained
on my memory - I was judging Open Agility at the Royal Vet College, South Mimms.
Twas a lovely hot sunny day. In the middle of the class, I turned to look around the ring
before the next dog ran. There sat on the top of the A-frame was a brilliant yellow and
blue macaw.
And what’s more this free flying parrot had little intention of moving. It took a couple
of goes at shoo-ing to get it to fly away... I still reckon it either wanted to join in
with agility or thought the course was crap and it could do better! Not least as it then
proceeded to sit on the bronze life size statue of a horse in the grounds and watch
several more rounds of agility! Anyone else remember it? Sally Sanford
(19/06/03)
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At Rugby
last December, my dog Gwen who likes to play with her lead at the end of a round finished
the course and looked around. No lead! It was actually in a bucket. She looked again, then
looked down and started to dig frantically as if to say 'I'm sure we left it here. Who
buried it?' Lin Bergan
(19/06/03) |
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What Are The Odds On? Award
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1.
What are the odds for have four x running orders of number 1. My four No.1 runs are with
two different dogs and they are in:-
- Mini/Maxi Pairs (123)
- Agility (179)
- Helter Skelter (135)
- Jumping (111)
Two of them are on at the same time with different dogs so I obviously
won't make both, but I would be interested to know if anyone else has had this before and
how often it occurs with the random computer orders.
The other funny thing is I also scriming when two of those runs will be happening. Perhaps
I need two of me. Good luck calculating.
Sue Culmer
Editor's note:
We think the odds are 32,992,474 to one! but if you are a mathematician and
figure otherwise, let us know. Never was much good at maths!
2. Dave Howard was 1 and 2 in Intermediate Agility at Waldridge Fell and
to make matters worse (or better) his wife Kate Howard was judging!
Kate Howard (17/06/03) |

Clipart: BC Buddies
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- Went to Milton Keynes with a slipped disc at the weekend. Couldn't run
the dog so palmed her out to three handlers - all of whom she knew and with varying
degrees of persuasion! First round - lead off and back to me; second class - one jump and
back to me; third class - start line and looked for me - making one jump in three
classes. Works out about £9 per jump not including petrol. Is this the most expensive
jump at a show? Vanessa Hardin
(21/05/03)
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- Kie, my Border Collie, has a lead fixation, I never taught him to run
to his lead as he comes out of the ring, it is something he picked up himself. No pun
intended!
So far he has come out of the ring and picked up a lead that was attached to another dog,
and brought it and the dog back to me. He has learned that the leads could be hidden in a
bucket, and on one occasion came out of the ring and plunged his head in a bucket of
water, but the worst one was when he came out of the ring and spied the stopwatch cord
hanging down from the hand of the timer, thought that was his lead and grabbed it.
Aileen Clarke
(17/05/03)
- In line with Aileen Clarke (Most Puddled Pooch) I also have a dog that
has taught herself to run and pick up her lead at the end of a course. Sometimes this
means that, in her enthusiasm to find her lead, she goes for the finish a tad
prematurely, so if the course demands that I pull her away from the last fence to do
something else first I usually have to hide her lead. I tried this on one occasion but
she ignored my loud and frantic pleas for a change of direction, finished her own course
and, finding no lead, picked up the electronic timing cables and back-jumped the last
fence to come back to me with the cables still in her mouth - bringing the whole lot
crashing down. Cue a hasty and red-faced exit to the car park... Kate Prosser
(29/05/03)
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- My oversized Papillon, Mister Bumble, goes on a go-slow sometimes in
the summer. He has so far stopped to eat an earwig on top of the A-frame, then spent for
ever on the seesaw and dog walk looking for another (he doesn't get fed often, poor
lamb!); followed a floating feather at nose level through the weaves (that took a while
too). Buzz the poodle did a cracking display at his first show. Having got to about
obstacle 8 in a TFO before we E'd, on our way back he noticed a bag of overflowing
rubbish at the side of the ring. He proceeded to run after it, drag it back into the
ring, and upend the contents including tiny bits of cheese rind all over the course,
while the judge rolled his eyes skyward as my attempts to catch him simply caused him to
spread it all even further! Jane Tatam
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Cartoon: David Rowe
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- I nominate my dog Dan who stopped mid-way across the dog walk at last
year's Supa Dogs and managed to deposit his poo neatly in the middle of the cross plank.
A comment on the judge's course design perhaps? Anni Telford
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I ran my Boxer Murphy in the
Intermediate Jumping at Wallingford show recently. It was a very tricky course, so tricky
that out of 205 dogs there were only 17 clear rounds. My Boxer came 15th and I was
absolutely delighted.
On collecting my rosette the judge said to me 'That was one of the loudest rounds I have
ever heard!' My friend queuing two rings away had actually heard the whole round, but if
I remember correctly from my physics lessons sound doesn't pass through a vacuum so I
have to shout loud to reach Murphy's brain!
Ele Rea
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Cartoon: David Rowe
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I believe that I am vying against
Evelyn Thomas for this position as both of us managed just two points. Evelyn's dog took
the opportunity to gaze, Italian Greyhound fashion into the air to occupy the full 60
second course time without moving but my Hungarian Vizsla managed to complete two whole
jumps but got the fastest time as she bulldozed me out of the way to leap on the table a
tad prematurely (like 43 seconds too soon!).
We could also go into furthest distance travelled to compete in a qualifier only to be
eliminated (again) but that is a whole new can of worms. Kate Prosser
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I was judging last year and sadly had
to eliminate a competitor so no points at all! I had previously wondered if you could be
eliminated in Gamblers but couldn't think of a way but this dog wouldn't get back on the
table at the end of the round so was eliminated. Penny Garner-Carpenter
(12/05/03)
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- My very first ever agility run years ago
was at Blue Barn in the days of fancy fences. The first fence was a brush fence which was
a gate type fence with some twigs making it look like a hedge. My dog Toby went to this
first fence... lifted his leg and pee'd and we were whistled out. Quick round or what?
Lin Bergan
(17/06/03)
Dave Howard ran Roscoe
in Open TFO at Tauton and paid £2 for the privilege of knocking the first jump down!
Kate Howard
(17/06/03)
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At his very first round of his
first show, Max, my German Spitz, stood on the
start line. "Hup" I commanded as I confidently ran past the first jump.
'In yer dreams,' he replied as he spun round and raced in the opposite direction. He had
already assessed all the hopefuls who were queuing up behind him waiting for his manly
attentions, made his choice, and started humping the bitch of his dreams, with a rapt
expression on his face.
Mortified, I apologised profusely to the bitches owner, unhooked Casanova and returned to
the start line. 'Hup' I said.
'Bog off,' he said as he u-turned, raced back to the light of his life, and attached
himself once more.
Back at the start line. 'Please - Hup,' I said in desperation.
"B****r off!" he replied, and returned to his floozy.
Back on the line, I thought we must be eliminated, but no, the judge, bless her heart,
told me that as we hadn't even crossed the start line, we couldn't be eliminated.
So I 'helped' him over the first jump, after which he spun round and returned to his bit
on the side, whose owner by this time was so fed up she had left the queue, saying 'I
wouldn't care but my bitch has been spayed.'
However, we did persevere, and seven years on Max has got about 40 rosettes and 4
trophies. Aileen Clarke
(17/05/03)
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I'd like to nominate Libby my standard
poodle for the shortest round. It was about seven years ago at Longleat. We were
unfortunate enough to be right at the end of a class and the rain had arrived in bucket
loads half way through the class, because of this they decided to take all dogs as they
arrived at the ring so the queue got enormous. We were totally drenched and the judge
then decided that as the class still had a long time to run that it would be elimination
and out. Having queued for what seemed like an eternity in the pouring rain , being
soaked through to the skin and freezing cold I set Libby up for a wait and recall
as it was jump turn right onto the dog walk. She broke the wait ran past the jump and
planted 2 feet onto the dogwalk---didn't even get my monies worth out of getting to do a
contact!!! That was it OUT we had to go. She didn't even do a single jump. As you can
imagine I was very p****d off. Rosie Ison
(01/05/03)
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At the last Hinckley show I was
entered with Ozzie my Jack Russell in the Mini Time Fault and Out. Oz got the first jump
down, the whistle blew and that was that! The ring party gave me a cheer because
they all wanted to finish early and get into the clubhouse where they were showing the
England match on the widescreen TV. I wished I had not bothered! Kay Westgate
(13/06/02)
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My shortest round claim is that at our
first show two weeks ago. I took my dog off lead at the start of the Novice Agility
course, started toward the first jump and turned round to see my dog leaving the ring! He
didn't even take one step towards the first jump! Once he'd checked that his friend was
still there outside the ring, he returned and proceeded to jump a good round - we'd only
have got 10 faults - if we hadn't been eliminated before we started! Kirsten
Husselbee (21/09/01)
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Okay, my shortest round is my
very first competition at the Shrewsbury & District DTC Open Agility Show on 5 May
2001. It was an Elementary Agility course with a double poled hurdle at the start.
Obviously I was really nervous and when the scribe said 'in your own time' I totally lost
it. Jess (Hint of Blue) was looking around wondering where the hell I'd brought
her, I started running, Jess wasn't ready - and now I think back neither was I - so she
went through the middle of the two poles. I didn't bring her back round and got
eliminated after the first obstacle! I'm pleased to say that we've now got the hang of
things and after just three months of competing we've managed to get three clear rounds
with one 17th place.... phew.
(03/09/01) Mandy Love
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It was my Midi dog Topper's
first show. There three jumps in a straight row so I thought I'd do a recall. I sat him
by the start line, said wait and walked forward. I got into position an called him. He
stood up, turned around and ran out of the ring!
(01/09/01)
Sharon Mills, Berkshire
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I would like to
nominate my mother in-law Ann Hawkes for the shortest round ever. In a standard agility
round at Newbury show ground she set up her Golden Retriever Magnus with his lest
favourite weaves unusually first. I think she was looking forward to getting them
out of the way at the start. Anyway he set off from the line and made a great entry, then
shot off left out of the ring though the crowd to visit the bones in the food stand. All
he managed was one twelfth of the first obstacle. This was not his first or more
surprisingly his last agility round. He still manages the odd veterans at the grand old
age for a gundog of nine but he is never set off without a check to see where the burger
van and to food stand are.
(24/08/01)
Richard Lea
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I would like to claim the shortest round rosie!
Picture this - a Time Fault & Out, starting with the
weaves. We had a refusal so we strolled three feet towards the weaves and three feet back
to Start/Finish line! and that was it! This was with a Jack Russell terrier called
(unimaginatively) Jack! Penny
Garner-Carpenter
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I'm not sure if
this is the right way to be sending this in, or not. I'd like to put forward my claim for
the shortest round rosette. At her (and my) very first show, in our first ever round, my
Meg (Meg of Woodshaw) was confronted with a jump with a filler underneath it. The filler
had a hole in it, shaped just like the entrance to a kennel. Being a well-trained dog,
she went straight through the kennel-shaped hole, and then on to the dog walk immediately
after it. Exit us from our first ever agility round. We didn't enter another show for two
and a half years! Joyce Turner
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At my Border
Collie's first show at Burnham in September 1997, our first round ever was a Time Fault
and Out. The first obstacle was a jump and we knocked it down. So her first show, her
first class and out at the first jump. That was a very short debut. Amanda Pigg
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The Shortest
Round Rosette is the only way my dog will get a place in the presentations, having run
off to steal burgers after the first jump. K. Kitching
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- Derbyshire DAC would like to enter itself
into the competition for 'The Hottest Show of the Year' with a temperature of 89 degrees
F. at mid-day on Sunday, 28 July 2002 and still 84 degrees at 4.00pm.
Andy Farrington
(30/05/02)
- Down south at Bretons, I did hear somebody
say in mid-afternoon on 28, July 2002 that they had recorded a temperature of 36 degrees
C. (I make that about 96 Degrees F ) Looking at the number of folk who failed to run, a
lot of people must have found it just too hot. Derbyshire? That's way up past
Watford! It never gets that hot up there does it? Bern Hanreck
(30/05/02)
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When organising their summer show, Corton got to
thinking about what jobs their members were best suited for. They have come to the
conclusion that they have a pretty useful bunch of people when it comes to running a show.
Amongst their regular attenders are two vets, two
fully qualified vet nurses and a qualified pet behaviourist which should take care of all
the dog problems. One the human side, there is also a doctor, a physio and the usual
collection of first aiders.
They also have an optician, so when disgruntled
competitors storm out of the ring, muttering 'that judge must be blind if he/she didn't see
my dog get the A-frame/dog-walk/see-saw contact,' they can immediately rush the optician in
to the ring to perform an on-the-spot eye test, and confirm absolutely that, in fact, the
judge is NOT blind.
If the worst really comes to the worst and things get
really out of hand, they also have two RAF pilots, who can load the entire committee and
all the judges into their Hercules, and whisk them off to safety on sunnier foreign shores.
They're still looking to recruit a lawyer, though.
Anyone know one, preferably with a couple of Advance dogs, that they might be prepared to
run in our teams.
Can any other club do better?
Joyce Turner & Club Corton DTC Committee
(27/05/02) |
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- Would like to nominate Wendy Thorne
and Sandy (Winter Bracken) for highest placed first time competitor. It was Wendy and
Sandy's first show at Shrewsbury on 4 May and they came fourth in Midi agility. There
were 45 in the class. It was not an easy course with many eliminations, and they did
brilliantly in a very respectable time of just over 33 seconds!
Christine Moodie
(25/07/02)
- David Woodhead
and Holly (Iffit Duzzitt) place 26th place in Starters Agility at their first show - and
after only eight weeks of training! They started training at Tendering Agility Club in
February when Holly was 16 months old. Just for the competition experience, they entered
her at Downlands on the 7 April in Starters Agility and Helter Skelter. She was just 18
months old. All he hoped for was to get around! In Starters Agility she went clear and
was placed 26th out of 278 dogs! To make it more impressive, he'd only taught her the
weaves on the Friday before! Suzanne Morrison
(27/05/02)
- Jake Walsh's
Bearded Collie Billy (Bridus Billy the Kid) placed seventh at his very first show,
although under orders to treat this season as 'training!'
(08/06/02)
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Jasper
(Beckdale Jaspher) my English Springer Spaniel achieved 19th place in his first
competition at his first show which was at Downlands on 7 April. He was also
entered in the Special Helter Skelter and only got five faults. (He overshot the weave
entry.) I was completely stunned having been advised over and over - "only expect
eliminations in your first year", 'you have a Springer - his nose rules. Get a Border
Collie if you want to win something.' I didn't stop smiling for the rest of the week and
my phone bill has gone up! Where do we go from here? Would you believe it - 14th place
at Cornwall on 28 April and tenth place at Vyne on 6 May plus several eliminations and
some five faults - all for the same thing as Downlands, along the way. Beginners luck
maybe? Time will tell. Sue Taylor
(31/05/02)
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- Alison Plant
goes to Kidderminster Agility Group with Jed, her 10 year old Border Collie X . They got
their first clear round after five years so everybody else keep trying - remember Agility
is FUN! (23/04/02)
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- Entry forms for the Spalding Limited Agility Show
in October went out on 30 March and the classes were filled by 21 August, just
three weeks. Margaret Kyriakou (22/04/02)
- Talking of shortest time to fill a limit show we (Donyatt)
normally give out our schedules at a Sunday show and expect the show to be filled on the
following Tuesday or Wednesday. Rhona Birbeck will normally have a fair few entries
handed to her at the show where we give out the entry forms, everyone else seems to post
them on the Monday. Our show is not the only fast filling limit show in the South-West
either - I once picked up a show schedule at a Sunday show, forgot to post it until the
Tuesday morning and had it returned as over-subscribed. Tony
Dickinson
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- I am and I think my generic dog Phantom should
hold the record for the tallest dog, 30 .5 inches (76.2 cm +), with the fastest weaves of
60 poles. We were written up in Dog and Handler magazine. It was fun to see the confused
and befuddled looks of the Border Collie handlers when they heard that a big ol' mutt had
the fastest time of all. At the time of our competition we were competing at the Novice
level in USDAA trials and we had only started agility training 12 months before that.
Phantom is much faster now! Mandolina Moon (11/04/02)
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Is it a record to have breed five dogs (Lunarlites)
that have qualified for Olympia in the same year (i.e. 2000). I know that I have bred six
WSDs that all got to Olympia the same year but I can't remember the exact date - it was
when Jeff Bolton and Midnight Chocolate Chip, Alan Gardner and Midnight Chocolate
Robbin, Sandra Harvey and Midnight Chocolate Sundee, Sue Bishop and Midnight
Chocolate Orange and Pati Jary and Midnight Chocolate Caramel, Sarah and Moonlight Taffy
all got there together.
Chris Bolton (23/11/01) |
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Dianne Talbot and her Border
Collie Chase (Pause for Breath) won into Advanced class in only ten weeks. Chase is out
of Dave Blackshaw's Fly and Mary Ray's Quincey, a black and white with a smashing
temperament.
Jim Gregson
(19/09/01)
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- How about this. My WSD Red (Tyefold Red
Rooster) is five years old next week and has been competing since he was about two years
old. During that time he has only not been eliminated once and then he collected 20
faults. It's a good job I enjoy agility for the people and not winning.
Sharon Hebden
(03/09/01)
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- If we are allowed to
discount the dreaded time faults (the bane of my life!), my trusty 'Clear Round Hound'
Fozzie can claim no less than 23 consecutive clear rounds over several shows last year.
Mind you, there's no excuse for not going clear at the speed we go! The longest run
we have managed inside the time is 12 consecutive clears with just one placing at
eleventh. The picture shows Fozzie demonstrating his inimitable style through the weaves
which is where he manages to accumulate all those time faults! Janet Dilloway
(30/09/01)
- My dog Tilly entered ten
classes at Dog in Need 2001 and got ten clear rounds. (Shame about her partner in Pairs.)
She also got an Eleventh in Novice Agility. Lynne (Goff) Hinton
(08/08/01)
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- I think I might have done
the longest clear round ever - certainly that's what the timer said - when my Collie X
Redd (Redd Knight) did a perfect round in Novice Agility at Bretons in 114.14 seconds.
The course time was 50 seconds. I guess that the only way to go is up.
Judith Leoanrd
(20/08/01)
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