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Will one of the handlers please come to the Diary Room

Now that Big Brother has disappeared from the small screen forever, wouldn't an Agility Big Brother be interesting? Contributors to the Agility Forum in2005 thought they would have a little fun. It went something like this...

Thank you to the dudes and dude-ettes on the Agility Forum for providing such awesome entertainment.

Day 1


  In the Agility Big Brother House, the house mates are discussing their best agility moments...
Nic Jone

Day 2


  The conversation turns to a debate that's been raging in the outside world for days... 'who wins - YOU decide...'

Actually, I've been drawing parallels myself - I'm pretty convinced we've got Nadia, Jason and Dan on Liaison at least!
Jill Spurr

Day 4 


  In the Agility Big Brother House, the housemates have been set a task of organising a show on 8 January 2005.

One housemate is adamant the new rules will be in force by then and proposes*/discusses* (delete as appropriate) that the show host all categories and all heights, giving every dog at least two runs a day.

One of the other housemates points out that there are only 24 hours in a day and the most indoor arenas cannot accommodate 72 of the new larger sized rings.

A third housemate throws in a suggestion of producing two schedules, one based on the old rules and the other based on the new rules.

The second housemates commends this idea but is quick to point out that the club will not know which schedule to sent out until seven days before the show. This does have its advantage in that, at least, class sizes will be small so the 72 ring show is looking a bit more feasible.

The debate continues...

Meanwhile back on Planet Earth, Machine Mart has sold out of all of it's square hole drills (technical terminology) whilst B&Q is running low on stocks of wood filler in case the new square holes are not needed.
Nic Jones

  Rumour arrived in Big Brother House today that the reason KC is cuddling up to FCI is in order to populate Clarges Street with glamorous foreign secretaries and then taken on a sexy foreign coach for our predominantly female WC team! Jane Tatam

Day 5


  Big Brother has given the housemates a mini task to see how hard the dogs hit the floor when they jump. If they pass the task, the housemates will get an extra special treat - an agility run to the optimum safety. (Big Brother is not suggesting that agility is not safe in the first place.)

Quite a few of the housemates are keen on giving the task a go - it can't hurt and they could win the extra special treat. Stu has offered to mastermind the task because he is qualified in biogibberish, dude, but it means that the housemates must give him their whole shopping budget. Dan refuses to do the task, because he doesn't think they can find the answer. Jason can't see what all the fuss is about, as long as his dog can jump lower jumps.

And Nadia has flounced off to the diary room: 'Well, Big Brotha, you know if we don't change everything just coz I say so, then we put back British Agility five years, darling, know what I mean? Five years!'

'Could you tell Big Brother why that is, Nadia?'

'What? Whaaaat? Whaaat you want, Big Brotha? Wait and see! Know what I mean? Wait and see!!!!' risk of mixing my metaphors... 'can, worms - everywhere'
Jill Spurr

But who's been voted out? Let's be controversial. Tick boxes for -
Howard Weston

  • o Midis?
  • o Anyone who agrees with any of the new proposals?
  • o Advanced?
  • o KC reps?
  • o Collie handlers?
  • o Add your own un-favourite category here!

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - I'd put Enid G in (she's so funny), Bill Glover (the sensible one and Rule Guru), Andrew Dicker (or pretty much anyone from Thames 'cos they like beer), Sam Stephens 'cos she's not afraid to say what she thinks, Virginia (ditto), Gerry Eckersley for controversy, and someone like Jon Watts for a bit of eye candy!

Or is the idea that we lock all the grumpy ones in a big room and let them slug it out?!
Jill Spurr

Day 6


Things are still uncomfortable in the ABB house. Some of the housemates are of the opinion that if other housemates don't like the way ABB will be run, then they could always do 'I'm an Agility Handler, Get Me Out of Here' or 'Dog Swap;' but other housemates feel that as they like Agility Big Brother just as it is, they should be able to stay in the house if they want, and not be evicted just because they last won an agility class fifteen years ago.

Meanwhile, in the outside world viewers everywhere, desperate for a little light relief, are debating whether Jon Watts does indeed qualify as eye-candy....

Big Brother will get back to you...
Jill Spurr

First seen on the Agility Forum


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