How Do I love Thee

by A. Kita

According to The Hutchinson Paperback Encyclopedia, a Haiku is a 17-syllable Japanese verse form, usually divided into three lines. Helen Walland received these delightful dog haiku from her relatives in The States. With contributions from Robert Leechford and Melanie Mecca. How about you?

Run, jump, leap and fly
Why touch contact zones
when you can jump off them high
Jennifer Schraedel

Agility Haiku
To jump over - is masters wish
But to go under-
much easier!
Gemma Hanekom

Summer afternoon -
Paws step on a wooden bridge
His shadow follows
Robert Leechford

Weave poles that sway on steel springs
Are not the true way
Pointing finger, not the moon.
Melanie Mecca


I love my master
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.


I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.

Today I sniffed
Many dog butts - I celebrate
By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!
Paperboy - come to kill us all
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Mailman Fiend - come to kill us all
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!


I sound the alarm!

Meter Reader - come to kill all
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Rubbish man - come to kill us all
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat - come to kill us all!
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!


I lift my leg and
Wiz on each bush. Hello, Spot -
Sniff this and weep

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.


I hate my choke chain
Look, world, they strangle me!
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot - no greater bliss - well,
Maybe catching cats.

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do

The cat is not all
Bad - She fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls*.

Dig under fence-why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

You may call them fleas,
But they are far more - I call
Them a vocation.

My owners' mood is
Romantic - I lie near their
Feet. I fart a big one.

If you have a quiet moment between classes, why not have a go at writing your own agility haiku. Then send it to: Agilitynet

Editor's note: Tootsie Rolls are a popular American sweet. There is no British equivalent. Just use your imagination!
If anyone knows what the Japanese writing in the margin means, don't tell. All I know is that it's nothing to do with dogs or agility!
Photo Source: Thank you to Dianne McCormick and the Agility Akitas for her wonderful photo of Roxanne on the A-Frame.

Comments from S.J.K. Walt
Your article is laugh-out-loud funny and has taken my mind off of much more serious matters and reminded me of the more important things in life.

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