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Co-sponsors of the 2023 Winning Out
Certificates
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Before YouTube, Facebook and Twitter, the
internet was awash with endless lists of things about men v. women, dogs v. cats and variations
on the theme. There were so many that, in the end, we banned them from Agilitynet until now. We
loved the ones below not only because they're funny but because most of them with a little
change here and there are true of agility folk! Thanks to Susie Sherwin for sharing.
You know you've have gone to the
dogs when...
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Nobody's feet are allowed on the furniture, but your
dogs are welcome to sleep on any place they so choose
-
It takes an entirely separate dustbin to handle all the
poop.
-
All kinds of things around the house are in need of repair,
but the injured dog you rescued by the side of the road requires immediate surgery and out
comes the chequebook.
-
You and your family haven't been to the doctors in two
years, but the dogs are all medically up to date.
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You start barking at your children to 'Sit! Stay!'
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You're more concerned with the dogs' needs than your own
when the budget gets tight.
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Most if not all of your annual holiday is taken up going to
agility shows!
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Dog crates double as chairs and/or tables in your home.
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You can only remember people by associating them with their
dog.
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You aren't wroried if overnight guests - who may or may not share your bed - are
offended by having to sleep with you and the dog(s).
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You snuggle closer to the dog than the person with whom you
are sleeping.
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You decide to downsize from a place in the city to a country
cottage with lots of land in order to build the kennel of your dreams.
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You spend more time looking through the internet for dog
supplies than for Victoria's Secret nighties or Lakeland gadgets
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All your social activities revolved around other dog people.
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Your voice is immediately recognised by your vet's
receptionist.
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Everyone in the office is eager to know if the dogs are all
right because you were late for the meeting.
Why some men prefer agility dogs
to wives or partners...
At the risk of being pelted
with dog biscuits around the ring or being called as a MCP (male chauvinist pig) - or worse - at the next show,
the Agility Whisperer says there are reasons that some men prefer their agility dogs to their
wives or partners. Does this give you a clue to the identity of The Whisperer? And is
there anyone out there who can come up with reasons why women prefer their agility dogs to
their husbands/partners?
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The later you are the more excited your dogs are to see
you.
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Dogs do not notice if
you call them by another dog’s name.
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Your agility dogs
love it if you leave lots of things on the floor.
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Your dogs’ parents
never visit.
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You never have to
wait for an agility dog – they are ready to go 24 hours a day.
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Your dog finds you
amusing when you are drunk.
-
Agility dogs jump on
command.
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A refusal by an
agility dog is unusual.
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They don’t look for faults.
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A dog will let you
put a collar on it without calling you a pervert.
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Dogs never complain
about your bad breath.
Finally, and most importantly if a dog leaves it will not
take half of your assets.
So there you
have it fellas. I am sure you can think of many more reasons. I bet the women could not get
beyond one item on their list!
Author
credit...
Adapted for the agility world by the Agility Whisperer.
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