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Agility Humour


   Supporting agility dogs with specialist lifetime cover

Contents

Agility Big Brother
Meanwhile in the Agility Big Brother Dog House, the house mates are discussing their best agility moments...  (12/08/04)
Agility Chain Letter
Are you continually losing out to inferior dogs at agility shows? In the agility ring, does your dog forget his own  name? This simple chain letter is meant to bring relief and happiness to you. Unlike most chain letters, it doesn't cost money. (07/09/04)
Agility is a Contagious Disease
Some people catch the illness from friends; others from unknown sources. Jayne Edwards contracted a rare form of Agility from horses at about age ten. As fellow suffered, she would like to share her story with you.

Agility Trials & Tribulations
Jim Liddle's
cartoon book looks at the lighter side of Agility! A hilarious cartoon look at the exciting sport of Agility by a master observer of behaviour - both human and canine. Reviewed by Debbie Benton, Neil Flint and Jonathan Bruce. (06/02/01)
The Agility Whisperer
Old wives' tales are part of our oral tradition, originating long before pen and ink, books and movies, and certainly before the Internet. They've probably have survived through the ages because they offer comforting advice about experiences that we all share, have little control over, usually worry about and have more than a grain of truth to them, never more so than in agility.
The Agility Whisperer Returns
Watch out. The Agility Whisperer is back with astute observations and witty comments on the agility scene.
An Alternative A-Z of Agility
Lean back, put your feet up and enjoy the wit and wisdom of The Agility Whisperer as we roll out his alternative agility alphabet, starting with A B and C.
Bad Day at Dundee
Rob Kerr had been having a rotten weekend and Senior Jumping was the last event. There had not been not a lot of clear rounds in it, so he is put everything into his last run. So what happened?
The BIG Question
What do Agility folk do when faced with adversity? The answer, for many people, is to use humour to laugh at themselves. There are many people who are anxious and worried about the COVID-19 virus and how it is going to affect them, their family and friends and, of course, their dogs. Here is Alan Waddington's attempt to make you smile.
airedaleJ.jpg (27500 bytes) The Bowfort Agility Wind Scale
An original way of measuring the wind and how it affects agility.
Breed-adapted Agility
Susan Waltman takes on step beyond ABC. When a friend suggested that it would be fun to adapt agility to specific groups of breeds she let her imagination run wild. In the whimsical spirit of the holiday season, here is what she came up with. (23/11/00)
Bureaucracy Gone Mad
Are our agility judges being tied up by red tape? An experienced (anonymous) judge has submitted this draft Statutory Letter of Appointment, following a rather vivid dream. Or should we say nightmare?

Cheekiest Dictionary Ever of Agility Terms
Just for fun - an irreverent attempt to put what we think into words. Terms you'll never to able to spell but everyone knows what you mean! With apologies to Messrs. Chambers and Webster. (27/08/02)
Crufts Checklist
Here is a survival list of things to remember when going to Crufts for new visitors and those who, like mothers in labour forget the trauma of childbirth when they get home! It seems to apply for all manner of dog events from Agility to Flyball, Obedience, Breed to Demonstration to retail therapy. Enjoy your day and don't say that we didn't warn you.
Foot 'n' Mouth
In 2001, foot-'n'-mouth led to the slaughter of more than six million animals and is estimated to have cost the UK as much as 4bn.  Many clubs closed down for the duration and shows were cancelled everywhere. Better safe than sorry. It was a sad sad time. Out of every tragedy, however, comes some humour and that goes for the agility world as well. Though written in a time of tragedy. we think this advice works any time your clubs is not training whether it be over the school holidays or when your training venue is being renovated.
Crufts 2005 Getting Older
Agility is getting older. Things are changing with each passing year and just like the grey hairs she keep finding, Mary Ann Nester is finding that each of her visits to Crufts reveals a new development in our sport.  (30/03/05)
Poison - danger signs

Health Warning
Since starting Agility, Soraya Porter has discovered there are several, admittedly rare, complaints peculiar to the sport. Sit back and enjoy this humour look at our sport which first appeared in the Suffolk Five Rivers newsletter.  (27/04/04)

More Humour in the Ring
Stories, jokes and wry observations from like-minded people. (14/04/03)

Judging the Judges
In agility, the judge's word is law but who judges the judge? 23/04/03)
The Low-down on Latrines
Gillian Comfort extols the trials of the toilet or more specifically, emptying them at shows.  14/09/07)

Multiple Dog Disorder
Are you addicted to Agility? If you have two or more dogs, your may be suffering from that dreaded disease Multiple Dog Disorder. Do you fear that you are one of those agility people who start collecting dogs like other people collect stamps or coins - you know, a Mini, Midi and a couple of Standards as well as assorted rescue dogs that you just couldn't resist. Kim Norton sent this email suggesting some diagnostic criteria; we've added more. Test yourself.

Music for an Agility Docu-Soap
Imagine you're a film producer working on a series of 'fun' sports programmes for the small screen. First on your list is Agility. You've cast your main characters - a handler, some adorable dogs, the Judge (da' heavy) and a cast of hundreds in comfortable clothes and running shoes. Now it's time to organise the background music. Add your voice and sing-a-long. (01/02/01)
New Agility Classifications
As everyone knows, the current classifications of levels are under discussion at the Kennel Club, and news has reached Agilitynet that radical changes have already been agreed. This is not merely tinkering with an old system. And it is to take effect as of 1 April 2005! Ha ha ha!
New Year Agility Humour
Start the new year with a smile. (02/01/05)
The Real Rules of Agility
First posted on Facebook by Michelle Stone who borrowed it from her friend Judith Faulkner who adapted it from equestrian group and the real rules of agility are now set out here for your delight and entertainment. The Kennel Club rules and regs will never be the same. Feel free to share and /or make up your own.
Ringside Seat
Ten short stories, beautifully observed, written by The Agility Whisperer, the Garrison Keillor of British Agility, illustrated by Kim Blundell. Sit back and enjoy the gentle humour, charm and honesty of these delightful insights into agility.
Signature Lines for Emails
Wikipedia defines an email signature as a block of text appended to the end of an email message, often containing the sender's name, address, phone number, disclaimer or other contact information. We've collected some which are appropriate for agility people.
Surviving COVID-19 - Things to Do During Lockdown
In these unprecedented times, not being able to do agility doesn't seem significant compared to the health and wealth of our nation, but realistically it is hard to adjust to not being able to go out to dog training and shows. So we asked people to send in some suggestions about what to do during lockdown. It isn't going to be easy but our houses will never be cleaner nor our gardens never greener. So spend some time with your family and tick another box on your 'to do' list.
The Truth about...
Laurie Leach of Laughing Dog Press compares two popular kinds of dogs with characteristics that 'push the envelope' for the title of Most Extreme Breed - The Standard Poodle and the Border Collie. Have fun! (01/08/03)
Tux 'n' Tails
What the best dressed handler is wearing in Gem City.
(01/04/03)
What Kind of Car Is Your Dog?
As Jeremy Clarkson and The Stig were not available to judge the Chudleys What Car Is You Dog? competition, we asked automotive consultant Ian Watts to do it.

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